Week Two - Family Dynamics

This week we talked a lot about how families interact and why they interact. I never really thought about families as a system or subsystem. They were just your family and you acted and treated each other the way you did because thats just the way things are. I think it is very interesting that in every family each individual person has a specific role in the group. The roles differ from family to family and each family is completely different from the next.
I thought it was very interesting when we were asked to make a chart about our genealogy. Not just who's related to who and how their related to one another, that plus the different interactions that family members have with one another. Some have strong, healthy relationships; some have a little underlying contention; and others are even estranged. I think by doing this we are able to see different patterns in the way we interact with certain people, and will hopefully ponder why things are the way they are.
The other thing we focused on a lot this week was family rules. Every family has different rules, some families have a lot of rules that may cause more harm than good and others have little rules with little expectations of those around them. What I am going for with my future family is going to be somewhere in the middle. I grew up with almost no rules, at least not ones that were upheld. I think that this did not help me and even though my teenage self would kill me for saying this now, I almost wish there had been more rules in our home. Rules don't have to be bad, they are the way that families have structure and are able to function properly. Can there be too many rules? Yes of course. I don't want my family to feel like they are the Von Trapp's out of the Sound of Music. I want my children to feel that they are trusted and that they have a say in most things, but their has to be boundaries and the parents need to be in charge. This is also important with everyone feeling that they have a place in the family and knowing that they are important. I just want my family to be happy and to function well together and understanding how family dynamics work is the first step on that road.