Week Four - Gender & Families

I think that gender is a very important characteristic of who we are and of how we perceive ourselves. If we do not properly understand the role of each gender there can be a lot of confusion as we grow up, what should our goals in life be? who should I marry? Am I attracted to men or women? These are all things that can become very confusing, especially if we do not have Heavenly Fathers words as guidance and do not understand our nature here on earth. I am not saying that there is a cookie cutter mold for men and women, not all men should act the same and do the same things, and neither should women. But we are made with certain characteristics that are designed for the nature of men and women. Women are naturally more nurturing and caring. Men are the workers and protectors, it is in our nature to do these things. Heavenly Father created us with these characteristics for a reason and they are to help us. We should not strive to be something we are not, men are men and women are women.
It is wonderful that men and women are created so perfectly for one another. Of course there will be hard times and both partners need to compromise with each other, but that does not take away from the fact that men and women complete and perfect one another. It is impossible to believe that man and woman are destined to be together and are divinely created for each other and not believe in the Lord only He could make such things work so perfectly.
I think that for this reason it is a shame to see same gender relationships because we know that they can never give each other what a member of the opposite sex can. Man and woman perfect each other and that is the way that it was meant to be.

Week Three - Genealogy and Social Classes

This week we talked a bit about social classes, which turned out to be a bit of a heated subject. We talked about how social classes work and who fits into where. We talked about how social class effects families, society, images and so forth. Most people seemed to think that social classes are bad and that everyone should be treated as an equal. Thats great and everything, world peace is another one of those "should be's". But the fact is that social classes exist and pretty much have existed for most of mankind's time on earth, and probably will always exist in this lifetime. Another comment was that as members of the church we should try to be above that attitude and treat everyone the same. That is a great goal and something that each individual should strive for, but that is generally not how it is. We are also counseled to not be judgmental, but since coming to this school I have met some of the most judgmental people in my life. Even telling people where you live sets you up to be judged and there are definitely clicks or classes here on campus. Like people who live at the Ridge or Tuscany are "better" or at least have more money that live at places like davenport. Is everyone this way? No, of course not, I know great people that live at everyone of those buildings, but that does not change the fact that there are "classes" everywhere we go. I think what people need to realize is that social classes are going to exist and that to make any kind of difference we need to start that change with ourselves. This is a very individual issue and everyone has different views and concepts, but overall any kind of change needs to happen in ourselves first.
Genealogy was a much less controversial topic. This kind of thing is not my favorite but I did enjoy mapping out members of my family and I think that you are able to see different patterns that may be present throughout your family. This can be a wonderful tool to keep ancestry alive and is also something very important in the church.   

Week Two - Family Dynamics

This week we talked a lot about how families interact and why they interact. I never really thought about families as a system or subsystem. They were just your family and you acted and treated each other the way you did because thats just the way things are. I think it is very interesting that in every family each individual person has a specific role in the group. The roles differ from family to family and each family is completely different from the next.
I thought it was very interesting when we were asked to make a chart about our genealogy. Not just who's related to who and how their related to one another, that plus the different interactions that family members have with one another. Some have strong, healthy relationships; some have a little underlying contention; and others are even estranged. I think by doing this we are able to see different patterns in the way we interact with certain people, and will hopefully ponder why things are the way they are.
The other thing we focused on a lot this week was family rules. Every family has different rules, some families have a lot of rules that may cause more harm than good and others have little rules with little expectations of those around them. What I am going for with my future family is going to be somewhere in the middle. I grew up with almost no rules, at least not ones that were upheld. I think that this did not help me and even though my teenage self would kill me for saying this now, I almost wish there had been more rules in our home. Rules don't have to be bad, they are the way that families have structure and are able to function properly. Can there be too many rules? Yes of course. I don't want my family to feel like they are the Von Trapp's out of the Sound of Music. I want my children to feel that they are trusted and that they have a say in most things, but their has to be boundaries and the parents need to be in charge. This is also important with everyone feeling that they have a place in the family and knowing that they are important. I just want my family to be happy and to function well together and understanding how family dynamics work is the first step on that road.

Week One - Families!

This week has been an interesting week, my cluster is in family studies so I am taking a few classes concerning the family. This week it seemed like all of my classes seemed to correlate very well together and I felt there was a message that I was supposed to learn. My family has never been the closest. I am recently married and as I am starting my own family I am really hoping to strengthen bonds and get into good habits that will hopefully carry on to when we start having children. I hope to be the best wife and mother possible, so I am doing everything that I can now to make that happen throughout my life.
 My thoughts have been focusing on the family lately. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I am a convert to the church and my husband and I were civilly married this past August. But over spring break, it had been a year since my baptism, so my husband and I were able to go to the temple together and be sealed as an eternal family. Family is the reason we are here on this earth, and our family should be the number one thing in our lives. I think the thing that I understood better this week is that just because you are sealed in the temple that does not mean that you have a golden ticket to the celestial kingdom. You still need to work hard and endure to the end in order to cash that ticket in. Preparing to strengthen my family for now and for the future is my way of showing my faith in the gospel and in the family.
We were asked at the beginning of class what we hoped to gain from this Family Relations class, and I'll admit I gave the generic answer. But now that I think about it I did take this class for a reason, and not just to get the credits I need for my degree. I honestly think that if we take the time to better understand family and the way they interact, as well as being aware of problems or situations that may arise and having some sort of plan, if only a tentative one. We will be more prepared to be better husbands and wifes and mothers and fathers. Will there still be problems, fights, situations you have no idea how to handle? Yes. However, with the knowledge and tools you gain through educating yourself, it is that much more that you have to bring to a family, and to help that family thrive. That is what I want to be for my husband and for my future children.
And gripeingly I will admit that this does fit into the learning model. ha ha. Being prepared for all situations in life is important: school, work, marriage, children, traveling. It really does apply for everything. We should all be open to the spirit and seek its guidance, but we still need to do our part in life and not wait around for us to be yelled at to finally do something, because we know that it is a still small voice that gives us the guidance we need not a drill Sargent yelling in our face (though some need that as well :)